Mine is the voice of one crying in the wilderness, but it echoes the experience of thousands of people who have been burnt by illicit affairs.

When illicit behavior enters a relationship, it can cause that relationships to be dramatically altered, or to a much greater extent lead to dissolution.   So my plea to you is: Please don’t run the risk of destroying a great edifice of faith, by becoming a self-appointed interpreter of the signs of the times. Your gauge might just be running on empty, but there may still be enough gas to get you to the next filling station, so do not abandon the vehicle.

In many instances, the perpetrator of such ill repute is not consciously aware of how their actions can affect the standards and practices of others involved in the relationship. They are so self-absorbed that their peripheral view becomes a focal point – aimed at satisfying their personal needs.   Interestingly enough, more often than not, the injured party (the one being affected by the effects of the other person’s actions) is aware of the problem, because they are feeling the painful consequences effectuated by it; yet they CHOOSE to do nothing, because they don’t want to create a rift in the relationship. Wakey, wakey – the reason why you are hurting is because the relationship has already sustained injury, and unless you take positive action, it will eventually be severed – torn completely apart – under the weight of deceitfulness, anger, resentment, pride, guilt, condemnation, and other elements of despicableness.  So don’t just voice concern, get involved and take full control. However, don’t draw conclusions based on assumptions. Get the facts by assessing the evidence, and following every lead to the fullest extent.

I know that we all went to the same school and church, and had the same mother; whereby we were continuously taught in word and deed that to be part of the solution we must cover other people’s wrongdoing. We truly believe that by building up our family and friends in the eyes of others, even when we know that they are wrong, we will somehow make them do better.  Wrong.  Dead Wrong!  Speaking well of them, instead of attacking their areas of weakness, will protect the reputations of those you care about, and you will be blessed for it, but it will do nothing to extol their virtues or save their souls; in fact, doing so will only serve to increase the manure which is then used fertilize the problem.

Covering up may help silence negative criticism and reduce backlash, but it will not solve the problem – any more than you can cure strep throat by talking about how effective Penicillin is against it.   To bring about change, you must confront them in love with the truth. Believe me, it is not always easy, but it is always necessary – or the offender will continue to perpetuate their wrong doing without remorse or regard.   Moreover, I’m not telling you to doing anything that is not within the scope of Biblical doctrine, see Genesis 4: The fall of man, just one scripture among others too numerous to mention in this forum, wherein God exposed the sinful disobedience of Adam and Eve, and held them each accountable for their own actions. The same holds true for King Saul (1 Samuel 15:21), wherein he confess, “The people . . .,” when asked about his willful disobedience to God’s command that he destroy every living thing in the land of the Amalekites and he opted to save the biggest and the best – to seek glory for himself, rather than render it to God.

These stories just go to prove that God is the Master exposer. There are many such other instances outlined in the Bible wherein God exposed a number of his faithful subjects and their immoral escapades and documented their shortcomings to be passed on through the reading of His word for generations to come. What that tells me is that God holds truth in very high esteem, and no one is above reproach.  Whenever we fail to uphold His moral code of ethics, He will hit us with the rod of correction.  Just so you see that I know what I’m talking about, I’ll give you a few more examples. Remember Adam and Eve?  Yes, God did cover their naked bodies with fig leaves, but first He called them out, and then He made them suffer the consequences of their actions.  Then there was Cain, who slew his brother Abel; Abraham, who lied about being married to Sarah; David and his affair with Batsheba and setting up her husband to be killed in battle;   Moses and his killing of the Egyptian; Ananias and Sapphira; Jesus and the money changers, and the list goes on and on.  In some instances, as in the case of Ananias and Sapphira, their wrongfulness led to physical death.  In others, as with Adam and Eve, it is a spiritual death and separation from God.  Sometimes it may take someone else dying a physical death to get the point across and effectuate lasting change, as in the case of King David and Bathsheba’s son and the Pharaoh of ancient Egypt following God’s slaying of the first born (which was generation transfer and a throwback to his ancestral heritage, seeing that another Pharaoh, his father, had done that to the people of Israel), both of whom only repented after they suffered a personal loss.  Nevertheless, no matter what method God chooses, His purpose is to bring about lasting change through repentance, and His word will not return to him void.