– Check the Pulse of Your Relationships – (Excerpted)

First things First:  It is very important that you know the basal metabolic rate (BMR) of your relationship.  Why are vital signs so important? Because they give the medical provider insight into the seriousness of the problem for which you are seeking treatment.  Your pulse and blood pressure speak to the condition of your circulatory system; your temperature tells them the condition of your endocrine system, that is whether your body is fighting an infection or invasion of a foreign substance into the body – as indicated by the presence of high temperature (fever), or whether you are suffering from over exposure to cold – as indicated by a lower body temperature; your breathing sequence testifies to the condition of your respiratory system, and so on.  In short, when you know what the vital signs are in a stable patient, it is easy to identify problem areas in a patient who is not medically sound.  Any variable shift in the vital signs indicates a problem in the area affected by that shift, and gives the medical provider a point of encounter from which to implement treatment.  By that same token, knowing the BMR of your person to person relationships will indicate when trouble abounds, because the first indicator will more than likely be a variable shift in the vital signs – attitude, personality, and demeanor.

Interestingly enough, more often than not, the injured party (the one being affected by the effects of the other person’s actions) is aware of the problem, because they are feeling the painful consequences effectuated by it. Yet they CHOSE to do nothing, because they don’t want to create a rift in the relationship.  Wakey, wakey – the reason why you are hurting is because the relationship has already sustained injury, and unless you take positive action, it will eventually be severed – torn apart under the weight of deceitfulness, anger, resentment, and other elements of despicableness.  So don’t just voice concern, get involved and take full control.  However, don’t draw conclusions based on assumptions. Get the facts by assessing the evidence, and following every lead to the fullest extent.

I know that we all went to the same school, the same church, and had the same mother, whereby we were continuously taught that to be part of the solution, we must cover other people=s wrongdoing.  We truly believe that by building up our family and friends in the eyes of others, even when we know that they are wrong, we will somehow make them do better.  Wrong.  Dead Wrong!  Speaking well of them, instead of attacking their areas of weakness, will protect the reputations of those you care about, and you will be blessed for it, but it will do nothing to extol their virtues or save their souls.  In fact, doing so will only serve to increase the manure (often referred to me as bullshit…which is one word God has not yet removed from my vocabulary, because he know that it still serves me well to use it) which is then used to fertilize the problem.

Covering up may help silence negative criticism and backlash, but it will not solve the problem – any more than you can cure strep throat by talking about how effective Penicillin is against it.   To bring about change, you must confront them in love with the truth. Believe me, it is not always easy, but it is always necessary – or the offender will continue to perpetuate their wrongdoing without remorse or regard.   Moreover, I’m not telling you to doing anything that is not within the scope of Biblical doctrine.  God was the master exposer. There are many such instances outlined in the Bible wherein God exposed a number of his faithful subjects – too numerous to mention in this forum – and their immoral escapades and documented their shortcomings to be passed on through the reading of His word for generations to come. Just so you’ll see that I know what I’m talking about, (See Genesis 4, to begin with: The fall of man, wherein God exposed the sinful disobedience of Adam and Eve, and held them each accountable for their own actions.)  What that tells me is that God holds truth in very high esteem, and no one is above reproach.  Whenever we fail to uphold His moral code of ethics, He will hit us with the rod of correction.

Therefore, I earnestly urge you with intense urgency that if you notice anything that is not copasetic with increasing the strength of your relationship, it could only impede it. So Call it out now.  Don’t wait for a more opportune time, because there is no better time than the present; and please do not turn your back and hope it will go away – because it will not.  It will only get worse, and it will be only a matter of time before it encroaches upon you to the point that it squeezes out every last sap of energy – emotional, physical, and spiritual – that you have in your body, and leave you a desolate soul, waiting to be rescued – yourself.