Dealing with the After Effects of Adultery is painful, it is a process, and it requires immediate action on your part. Adultery is much like dealing with a malignant tumor, and if left un attended, it will continue to grow, until it eventually consumes your husband – even at it has killed the marriage.    Neither you nor your husband might be aware of this, but that is the end result of adultery.  Proverbs 5:3-11  tells us: “For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.  Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them. Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth.  Remove thy way far from her and come not nigh the door of her house; lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel: lest strangers be filled with thy wealth and thy labours be in the house of a stranger; and thou mourn at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed.”

This message is being brought to you by someone who has tasted the bitterness of the wormwood and is still in the throes of Dealing with the after Effects of Adultery.  If you are serious about regaining the virility of  your marriage, please do not take this message slightly.  The first thing that you have to do is understand your value as a woman – Proverbs 31  is a good place to start – and know that your husband’s actions is not a reflection of who you are.   This is very important, because if you don’t understand your true value in God’s eyes, you will not understand what your value in a relationship is. The analogy that God gave to me is that of a Persian Rug that is being used as a doormat.  He said, “If you don’t know the value of a Persian Rug, you’d continue to use it as a doormat, but once you find out its value, you will treasure it.”  The next analogy is that “every woman is a precious a jewel in (his) crown, and if someone was given a precious jewel, they would not abandon it without regard, so if your husband truly understood your value – he would not abandon you.”  Now, isn’t that awesome? So, like I said, know your true value, and do not be afraid to share it with the man you love.  Proverbs 31 is not a possibility, but a promise.  So it is also a good place for him to start indulging himself in the knowledge of God’s word in regards to women.

The next issue is, What is the value of your relationship? How do you view your marital relationship?  Do you see it as just a piece of paper that changes your name, and a ring on your finger, or do you see it as a covenant between two people in the presence of God, wherein in two hearts are joined together according to God’s holy ordinance?  Again, this is very important, because the value that you place on your marriage will be the amount of effort you will exert in your attempt to save it.   So, before, we go on, my question to you once again is – What is the value of your marital relationship?   You have to know exactly what you are fighting for if you are to claim the victory that Christ has already won for you.  It is like the trophy you receive at the end of a tournament.  The prize is there, but you have to beat the adversary to claim it.   If you understand the value of your marriage, you would not be afraid to call out the adversary. You may not be able to save your marriage, because despite all God’s best intentions, your husband (or wife, since wives do cheat at times, too) do have free will – and the right to exercise them. However, you do not have to lose yourself in the wake of his untimely demise.  (More on that later.) The Bible tells us if we are willing to confess our sins he is willing and just to forgive our sins, but not everyone is eager to confess.