By Way of the Wilderness:
Today, people look at me and see the spiritual Rock of Gibraltar, but I am not ashamed to testify that I was not always walking in the footsteps of the Lord. I came to this position in Christ by way of the wilderness. I was not much unlike those stupid Israelites of old. I was brought into captivity when famine invaded the land and I joined the caravan to Egypt because there was food. At that time, Egypt seemed like the “Promised Land,” and at the time, I did not realize that he who feeds you owns you. Actually, for the most part, we are more familiar with the other simile of possessiveness – The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. All in all, they amount to the same thing. As long as you live in my house, eat at my table, sleep on my bed, etc, etc., I control your every being. Needless to say, this was not a most comforting situation, and I was being forced to reassess my needs. I remained in the middle of a bad dream – I knew where I needed to go, but I didn’t know how to get there. Here I stood on the threshold of mine inheritance, yet I could not possess the land. I was frustrated and infuriated. My flesh burned in anger, and my soul cried out in anguish. It seemed a futile effort, yet I could not let go. I also knew I couldn’t stand still, because the enemy was on my tail. He knew where I was heading, and he was determined to stop me before I got there. I was running on empty, but running nonetheless. I couldn’t go forward, and I didn’t want to go back.
I was in desperate need of a way to get out of the land of Egypt and enter the “Promised Land.” So, with discontent as my partner, I toiled endlessly trying to find the way out – all to no avail. My life was in total discord as we went through the valley of discontent. There was no peace – no rest – no satisfaction. Nothing made sense anymore. I was a spiritual low and my faith was failing fast. My spirit, seemed to have departed and left me to wander alone in the wilderness. Physically, I was also starting to wander. My mind was drawing circles around me. I woke up each morning in a daze – each day more foggy than the day before. I’d break down in tears and sit idle for hours at end staring into nothingness – trying to understand the dull void that had taken over my life. Nothing else mattered more – not my job, my family, nothing.
Yet with all the difficulties of life notwithstanding, there was just an unbridled desire to seek God with “all my heart and all my soul.” So I decided to believe God and started to pray without ceasing. With tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart, I would bare myself before the Lord. As I strived for a higher purpose, my spirit was comforted, and I began to get a better understanding of what was happening to me. For the first time in my life, I encountered the phrase “spiritual warfare,” and realized that God did have a plan for my deliverance. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that God’s path for my deliverance led through the “valley of the shadow”of debt. So when God showed up, I turned away from His face and turned to “Moses” – the physical man. Rather than trusting the almighty God to render the solution, I found myself craving “leeks and onions” and forgetting the promises of God. Thankfully, my heavenly father is a God of second chances – and he gave me a second chance.
Lifeline of Hope 