I realized that the only way to effectuate change in them was to effectuate change in me, and in order to accomplish that I had to do what I termed “take an inward look at an outward expression of myself.” In essence, I had to see the true image of myself – as a person – before I could recognize the true image of anyone else. In so doing, I came to another realization, that the same battle that I was fighting, they were fighting too. They had an obscure vision of themselves, and they were looking at – and judging – others from that point of obscurity. We were lashing out at each other because we were all in various degrees of pain, so there was none that could help the other. It’s kinda like what the book of Revelation tells us about the last days, when people will run to the rocks and the mountains, and they will cry out we’re hiding too.

The agony comes because there is no rest for the weary. The perilous mind is that of a man on a perilous journey and for as long as the journey continues, the mind will continue to writhe in agony. Another thing I came to understand in that wilderness experience is that pain is a seed, and like any other seed, it does contain within itself the elements of its own existence. We hurt, thus we inflict pain. We inflict pain, thus we hurt; it is a pattern of behavior that sets the stage for self- destruction and total annihilation, because as Joyce Meyer so aptly puts it, “Hurting people hurt people. Therefore, the cycle will never end until we learn to PRESS PASS THE PAIN and take the time to sow new – and better – seeds in our garden of life. I endeavored to be that person for my family.

God changed the course of our lives because I was willing to be the example and laid myself bare before a holy God and become a living sacrifice. Now God has given me a new commission to bring hope to a dying nation by teaching others to “take an inward look at their outward expression of self, press pass the pain, and be the example for their loved ones” as he seeks to usher us – ALL – into the earthly inheritance of his heavenly domain.

THE WORD ON ANGER:

“Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. For evildoers shall be cut down, but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.” (psalm 37:8 & 9)

“A soft answer tumeth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)

“He that is slow to anger to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit that he that taketh a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)

“Surely oppression maketh a wise man mad; and a gift destroyeth the heart. Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.” (Ecclesiastes 7:7-9)

“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more, but rather let him labor, working with his hands the which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger and clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tender hearted,Jorgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hathforgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:26-32)